Call me stupid, but every time I write in here I get this twinge that writing anything here at all is a total waste of time.
Well, it is...
but it's a good waste of time, you know?
A productive kind of waste of time.
I could be like...doing homework, but instead I'm writing blogs that no one will ever read!! Nice trade, right?
Hmmm.
But the reason that I keep writing (this is going to sound conceited) is because I love my own voice. Not my physical voice. But the voice in my head, which is often louder.
(QUOTE: "Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia" --E.L. Doctorow)
I've heard tiny voices so many times telling me to quit...don't write, it's pointless, it's hard, it's difficult to read later (and it really is sometimes), and why the hell would I write about my boring life??
I was really close a couple months ago to throwing all my notebooks into the fireplace....
And OH. MY. GOD, would that have been disastrous!!
My notebooks are like...they're like the coolest thing I've ever done! Of course sometimes when I read some of the stuff I wrote before, I really can't believe what an idiot I was (am).
But still. Regardless. It is the most priceless thing I really have, and lately I've gotten SO into writing...just writing about my life. About the shit that goes on. And sometimes I think it turns out SO GOOD....I think it's good at least....It still makes me emotional, lol, so there's at least SOME point in it.
Now if you'll notice, I've posted a video below. (YouTube is one of the best internet inventions EVER.)
Now this song is one of my new favorites, and the celebration of me just figuring out how to put youtube videos on a webpage...quite easy if you know how to copy and paste!!)
But oh my god I've been sitting at the damn computer for like 20 minutes. How time flies when you are staring into the face of cyberspace ...
I've really got to get to that homework that I've been thinking about for the past 2 1/2 hours.
...Sigh....
Thanks for reading and play my song!!! ---->
Kisses, Emily
5.18.2007
Emotion
Okay. So as an artist (okay, okay, a writer), I should love this horrible emotional restless longing that I hate undergoing.
I know, I know. Emotional teenager girl, I am. If you don't want to read it then don't. And if you do decide to read and it's shit horrible, I apologize but I feel slightly mentally unrested at the moment and therefore I cannot be trusted to construct anything worthwhile at all.
See? Did that sentence make any sense to you? Chances tell me no.
But okay. So I was saying that as a writer I should love feelings like this because it easily allows angst to become visible on the page and out of my head, but as a human being I most definitely do not like feeling like this.
If I trusted cyberspace I would post details, thereby making this post a tiny bit more interesting, but seeing as how cyberspace is a horrible, horrible, thing that claims thousands of lives a year (I know that is a dumb statistic which makes absolutely no sense and that I just made up because it sounds cool), I will not, or EVER post interesting details on this blog, thereby making it as horrible and Boring as a blog could possibly be.
Thank you and wish me luck during this unsavorable time of my emotional instability.
I'm sorry for the long words. But in a very strange and un-understandable (and yes I know that's not a word), they make me feel somewhat in control of things.
Written words are some of the best therapy I've ever come across, so que vivan las palabras.
Gracias, y hasta luego
Con amor,
Emilia
I know, I know. Emotional teenager girl, I am. If you don't want to read it then don't. And if you do decide to read and it's shit horrible, I apologize but I feel slightly mentally unrested at the moment and therefore I cannot be trusted to construct anything worthwhile at all.
See? Did that sentence make any sense to you? Chances tell me no.
But okay. So I was saying that as a writer I should love feelings like this because it easily allows angst to become visible on the page and out of my head, but as a human being I most definitely do not like feeling like this.
If I trusted cyberspace I would post details, thereby making this post a tiny bit more interesting, but seeing as how cyberspace is a horrible, horrible, thing that claims thousands of lives a year (I know that is a dumb statistic which makes absolutely no sense and that I just made up because it sounds cool), I will not, or EVER post interesting details on this blog, thereby making it as horrible and Boring as a blog could possibly be.
Thank you and wish me luck during this unsavorable time of my emotional instability.
I'm sorry for the long words. But in a very strange and un-understandable (and yes I know that's not a word), they make me feel somewhat in control of things.
Written words are some of the best therapy I've ever come across, so que vivan las palabras.
Gracias, y hasta luego
Con amor,
Emilia
5.15.2007
I'm sorry for the surveys.
I really am.
Because unless you are one of those people who REALLY like me (a number I can probably count on, you know, one finger), surveys are really not fun to read through.
They're not.
I know it.
So I apologize. I was a little bit too bored and angsty last month and apparently lacked any sense of productivity.
But anyways.
As you can see, I am actually writing in this again. For now, at least.
I still don't know what the point of this is.
I know, waste of cyberspace.
But you see, as a(n)(aspiring) writer, I crave an audience, and at least on the internet I can fantasize that I am a wildly well-known and loved person whose blog is placed on the internet favorites list of english speakers everywhere.
I don't exactly think that is the case here but it is called dreams, damn it, and silly though they may be, aren't I not (aren't I not? okay, maybe that doesn't make sense) fully entitled to have them?
Maybe someday I will have a reader. Or two.
Maybe when I turn into a writer and find something remotely good to write about.
We. Shall. See.
But I just wanted to say here that John Green is my new favorite human being. (follow the link, if you're that slow, but you have to check this guy out)
Oh my god!! I've been sitting in front of the computer for a half an hour!! What am I thinking!! I have sleep to catch up on and homework to do!!
(For the record, May is officially the most insane month of the year.)
Goodbye nonexistant reader!! Thanks for your time and devoted appreciation!!!
*MUAH!*
I really am.
Because unless you are one of those people who REALLY like me (a number I can probably count on, you know, one finger), surveys are really not fun to read through.
They're not.
I know it.
So I apologize. I was a little bit too bored and angsty last month and apparently lacked any sense of productivity.
But anyways.
As you can see, I am actually writing in this again. For now, at least.
I still don't know what the point of this is.
I know, waste of cyberspace.
But you see, as a(n)(aspiring) writer, I crave an audience, and at least on the internet I can fantasize that I am a wildly well-known and loved person whose blog is placed on the internet favorites list of english speakers everywhere.
I don't exactly think that is the case here but it is called dreams, damn it, and silly though they may be, aren't I not (aren't I not? okay, maybe that doesn't make sense) fully entitled to have them?
Maybe someday I will have a reader. Or two.
Maybe when I turn into a writer and find something remotely good to write about.
We. Shall. See.
But I just wanted to say here that John Green is my new favorite human being. (follow the link, if you're that slow, but you have to check this guy out)
Oh my god!! I've been sitting in front of the computer for a half an hour!! What am I thinking!! I have sleep to catch up on and homework to do!!
(For the record, May is officially the most insane month of the year.)
Goodbye nonexistant reader!! Thanks for your time and devoted appreciation!!!
*MUAH!*
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