Another video...hilarious.

Of course you're getting sick of these videos.

I only post these Brotherhood 2.0 videos on here so I have easy reference to them. I know you don't care about them. Chances are that you don't care about my blog. It doesn't matter. I read it more than anyone else, so it's basically like an electronic journal.

So here's another video. Enjoy!

(Oh my God, I said "video" 4 times in like one paragraph. Sorry about that.)

"Put it on your head!!"

More incredible brilliance from Hank Green (one of my heroes!).

I'm having a great time watching Brotherhood 2.0. This video reminds me a lot of something I wrote a couple months ago. Though Hank Green makes a lot better comments on youth than I can...



Life sometimes SHOULD be about having fun. It's admittedly a lot better than panicking about everything.

Favorite site of the moment:

Brotherhood 2.0. John Green, one of my favorite YA Authors, happens to be hysterically funny. He and his brother, Hank, throughout the entirety of 2007, participated in this project called Brotherhood 2.0. Their only communication throughout the entire year was through video blogs. They published them on this website. I've been watching these videos this week consecutively from January 2007, and I'm now halfway through March...I haven't stopped laughing. I posted the above video because it highlights my city and I've been to all those places that were shown (and so has my hero John Green!!!!!!). Exciting.

This one is the funniest so far, though--even if you don't care about YA literature or video blogs or anything, watch it, because it's nothing short of awesome.

The background story is this. Hank, who is the brother featured in this particular video, was challenged by John to buy 100 marshmallow peeps and eat as many as he could in 6 minutes (He reached about 12) He was instructed to give the remaining peeps (86.5 of them) to worthy recipients in Mizzoula, Montana, where he lives. This is how he goes about doing so:
(Watch it!!!!)

Surviving Major Setback

Attempting to Move On

After yesterday, the worst day of my entire young life (see previous entry for details), I actually drove again today. I was pretty scared. Though I must say I am trying to drive infinitely more carefully than before, knowing that it's impossible to take too many precautions.

Though I am, of course, thankful that I didn't hurt anyone yesterday, I'm wildly depressed about what happened. Until yesterday morning, my life was going amazingly well--everything for the past couple of weeks had seemed to be completely in place--I was absolutely fine with everything.

Then, of course, I come across a terrible misadventure (Knowing that it was my fault doesn't make me feel much better, either). Of course I ruin my car--how could life really be so good for so long? Part of me yesterday wanted to shake my fist at heaven screaming, "VERY FUNNY, ASSHOLE!!"

It sucks more than anything has ever sucked for me before. I guess that's not too bad, if you think about it...but all this "looking at the bright side" doesn't really change the fact that I feel like total shit.

As I was driving siblings home tonight from their school science fair, Matt Nathanson's song, "Car Crash," played on the radio. I now officially hate the guy. "I want to feel the car crash," he sings.

Idiot. You don't want to feel that kind of shit. I promise, you DON'T WANT TO FEEL ANYTHING LIKE THAT, EVER. I could barely eat or sleep yesterday. I felt really thin by the end of the day...I've discovered a foolproof way to lose weight quickly...crash your car and spend a lot of the following time in shock and depression. Your weight should drop rapidly after that.

And like I said, I couldn't sleep. I haven't had insomnia for years. I had a lot of trouble sleeping all through grade school (I worried a lot more than I should have during those long and awful years of puberty), but high school, since its inception, has generally been a haze of pure exhaustion. I can usually fall asleep any time, any place, and I can sleep through just about anything. (I've developed the ability to sleep soundly through angry loud alarm clocks, a skill that has damaged quite a lot of mornings.) So tossing and turning last night was terrible. All I could think about was my car crash.

Today was slightly better. I'm humiliated by the fact that I'm getting rides from my parents again, but I went to school with a caffeine high and I laughed my way through the morning. By the end of the school day, though, I was sick of school (It's only my first day in class in 2008, and it was a half day), and I hated myself again.

Then I got my ride home and really felt awful for a while.

God, I sound horrible. I realize I'm throwing the pity party of the year, and for that I apologize. I don't think anyone enjoys other people's bitch sessions.

I'm particularly despondent lately, though I'm pretty sure things will slide back into something of a happy life again...soon.

Really, the only thing that was really hurt in my crash (well, besides our vehicles) was my pride. And of course no one except me gives a rat's ass about my pride and self-image so I'll shut up here.

In summation, life's been pretty bad for the past two days and I've done a lot of loathing of my mistakes and of the Universe in general, but in the long run, in the ultimate scheme of things....
eh. It will all be fine.

I'm only getting one point taking off my license. I'm amazed. I think I might have been dealing with the nicest policeman in the state. I can't complain about that.

I find the whole thing ironic though, for this reason: After reading the first two books of Douglas Adam's Hitchhiker's series, I declared less than 24 hours before my accident that my new personal philosophy was "Don't Panic." (Read the books and you will understand.) I decided that "Don't Panic" is some of the most excellent advice one can take in this life, and proudly resolved to keep panic at a minimum on my part.

Then yesterday happened.

Needless to say, wild panic ensued.

I guess I'll keep trying though. What else can I do, really?

Disaster, to Say The Least

I am currently in shock.

To put things simply, this is what happened: Less than a month after receiving my driver's license, I totaled my car less than one block away from my school, my destination. Fortunately, nobody was hurt, and for that I must say I am incredibly grateful. That, however does not change the fact that I feel purely and unalterably awful. I am terribly humiliated by this, and after realizing that this isn't some sort of nightmare that I am going to wake up from, I am beginning to feel very panicky. Everybody's been telling me all morning that "everybody makes mistakes," which is fine, but I must say that this mistake has a truly aching magnitude.

I'm also very depressed that I no longer have a car.

I'm pretty sure this is one of the worst days of my life. I still find it almost entirely unbelievable.

Back To Real Life

Hello, again.

I've noticed that people have an annoying tendency to say things like this (especially on their myspace profiles:)

"I like [such and such], or I do [such and such], if you don't like it, I don't care, [insert obscene threat here]."

I'm not going to be TOO sardonic about myspace here (though I will attempt to implement new vocabulary words), because I myself actually have one, but looking at people's profiles sometimes really makes me roll my eyes.

In order to avoid annoying pretentiousness, I'll shut up now.

If you'll notice, I haven't written in this blog for about two weeks. Getting back to something of a real life after Christmas Break has been both distracting and exhausting. My writing habits have been starting to falter, but I'm trying to give myself another jump start here. I usually make a point to write SOMETHING, be it substantial or silly, every day. Unfortunately, however, I have written nothing for the past two days.

I don't have any excuse, other than I've been really lazy.

Oh, and I have been reading this:

The second book in the Hitchhiker's Guide series--I finished it yesterday. I don't think it was quite as brilliant as the first but I nevertheless devoured it, laughing a lot in the process. The plotline is nothing short of ridiculous, but it's so damn FUNNY! This writer has a way with words, with the deft ability to turn most of his sentences into absolute hilarity. It was awesome.

Now there is also something of a reason why I haven't been writing for the past two weeks. I've been too busy in euphoria. I spent two weeks volunteering at a local Catholic grade school and I now know with almost complete certainty that teaching is what I want to do with my life. I am very happy about that.

This is me with my 4th grade class:

These kids made me realize that I like kids.

Eventually I might write up something formal about my experience. I'm supposed to do that for school, anyway, so if that turns out well I'll post it here.

But I'll just say now that I just finished some of the best two weeks of my life. I cried when I left the school Friday afternoon.

So that's my mini update. Unfortunately I have to go back to high school this week. Senior year's great, but I think I might miss 4th grade.

*****

Oh, and in reference to my last post--I did find my phone the next day. And I successfully got my driver's license the day after that.

Glory Hallelujah, Yes.

Burnout

I'm a little bit dead-tired, excuse me.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is a total lack of attempt to write well. You'll have to excuse me, I'm tired to a ridiculously vertiginous degree.

Aaaahhh to the what the wow the WHO?.

I went to grade school today. I started a two-week service project at a local Catholic grade school. In addition to two weeks off with Christmas break, I am staying away from high school classes for an additional two weeks helping fourth graders.
It is mind-blowingly exhausting, you have no idea.

My first day was confusing and awkward, what can I say. I plunged into an entirely new environment, and even though it's only fourth grade, it's scary.

I lost my phone today. At the school. I frantically ran around the halls and through the gym and lunchroom and library and EVERYTHING looking for it and I had to leave with absolutely no idea where my phone might be.

WHAT???!?!?!

I am a typical American teenager, and by God, I need my cell phone. I am really worried about it. It's out in the world, all alone, my poor baby, possibly stolen and lonely and sad!!!

If it's not in the lost in the found tomorrow i'll...i'll..i'll... well i don't know what but I'll be incredibly disappointed.

There is a plus to today though. At least one.

***I passed my driver's test, glory, hallelujah, YES!!!***

But here's the catch...oh yes, of course there is a catch, because life, the universe and everything (HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE reference!!!! **FLASHING NEON LIGHTS AND DANCING AND LAUGHING AND PERPETUAL SINGING!!**) is a heartless cruel bitch.

While I did pass my driver's test with massive amounts of relief, what happened at the DMV office but THE COMPUTERS SHUT DOWN!

What the what the what!!

So they couldn't issue me my license.

I'm a little annoyed, but hey at least I won't have to take that bitch of a test again.

Okay day. On to a new one.

Until the future, darling and beautiful readers,

Eternal love always, hope you liked my ridiculous nonsensical unedited verbosity,

Emily

Crazy Dance Party

Holy flaming sword of amazing grace on caffeine overdose!!!

Look at my second headline "Holy flaming sword.."
It's not fair, how come I can't ever say cool things like that? How come I never say anything good at all, ever? I QUIT AT LIFE!!
Guess who said that in their blog ("Holy flaming sword...")? Why, the legendary Justin Pierre, my idol. I've written about him here. He's the lead singer of Motion City Soundtrack, which I have written about here.

Anyways. Now that I've gotten that infatuation spurt out of the way, I'll continue.

I worked again today...I may have mentioned that work is only fun when you do it like, once a week. Any more than that and it becomes an actual job and it sucks. I worked yesterday and had a fantastic day. I worked today and I came home feeling exhausted and bitchy and I haven't wanted to write all day, and I've been wondering what the fuck is the point of writing anyways, and why am I doing this and fuck I should just quit and stop being so damn pretentious about it.

But I won't quit today.

I read a lot of small things today...bits and pieces of author blogs and hilarious anecdotes from David Sedaris in The New Yorker...awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome.

I also went to the library today and stocked up on CD's...including this one:

Yeah, okay, okay, make fun of me. But I really wanted it. It was so worth it, too, when my parents left the house and I played it on top volume. My younger siblings and I had a dance party and it was hilariously fun:

All this dancing destroyed my bad mood, anyways. Though now I'm suddenly insanely tired and sad...

Goodnight folks, I'll find a way through this mood swing thing somehow...

Emily

Downtown

I’ve been dealing with a little disappointment.

One of the reasons why I didn’t post anything yesterday was because I spent my entire evening in a miserable state of angry depression. I don’t find that to be a very easy writing attitude.

I failed my driver’s test yesterday with a 92%. No, that doesn’t sound like a failure, does it? 92% is generally something like an A grade, right? Well, not when you drive like a total idiot and in a state of nervous wondering if you will past the test, disregard right-of-way rules of the road.

Woops.

I had two “dangerous actions” marked against me. Apparently, a “dangerous action” is an automatic fail. Having two of them in a 10-minute time span was quite humiliating for me. I spent my evening feeling worthless and incompetent.

After the drive home, which included several furious steering-wheel-pounding fits (from me, the bad driver), I decided to try to channel my anger into something productive—I was going to write my University of Chicago admission essay. This University has been one of my favorite schools for the past couple of months; not to mention it’s one of the most selective schools in the country. I’d been planning on applying to U. of Chicago for a while, but didn’t actually get around to it because of the new creative essay I would have to write. The University of Chicago prides itself on its “Uncommon Application” and its truly uncommon, absurdly original essays. I was excited to write them, but I knew it wasn’t going to be an easy task.

But guess what? I won’t be writing any Chicago essays at all. The application deadline was yesterday. I began the application yesterday.

Forget about it. There was, and I struggle to put this politely, no fucking way I could have written good essays in a matter of hours. NO FUCKING WAY. Even if I did bust my ass to write those essays, I would have still had to get a high school transcript and recommendation letters submitted. IN A MATTER OF HOURS.

So it didn’t happen. Now forget about applying to my dream school.

I didn’t get my driver’s license and I didn’t apply to Chicago. I felt like dying.
I’d been feeling kind of worthless over the entirety of Christmas Break. Yesterday didn’t really boost my spirits.

On the upside, though, and yes thank God, there was an upside, I received an acceptance e-mail from the University of Denver. Now that, I was very happy about. I found enough positive feelings in me to wave my arms in the air in a sort of happy dance.

The University of Denver is my top choice for college next year. Thankfully I did have the sense to apply to that school.

Though I still feel like a failure.

I woke up early for work today, though, and felt slightly better. For starters, my hair behaved itself this morning. After 5 minutes with my straightener, I actually looked…decent. That’s really something for 7:30 AM.
Then the weather was nice. All day. The sun wasn’t too bright, the snow wasn’t too much, and the temperature was just right. It was perfect.
I looked out my window all day at work again at the Nordstrom shoppers, and I felt a breeze against my face. I don’t know where exactly it came from, but I couldn’t complain about a pleasant breeze fanning my hair out all day. It was brilliant.

I also had captured my brother’s 80 GB ipod. Quite unfortunately, my younger brother is more technologically advanced (mp3 player-wise) than I am. I currently do not own an mp3 player. I left my old Creative Zen at a hotel, and with my excellent procrastinating skills, I never called to ask about a lost-and-found. So I stole my even-younger brother’s mp3 player that he found on a train. Now that one’s almost broken. I am now a sad music enthusiast without any suitable form of portable song. So I quite enjoyed having my entire itunes library with me all day.

This is what I listened to the entire way home:

I’ve actually never seriously listened to The Killers before, outside of a few exciting renditions of “Somebody Told Me” and “Jenny Was A Friend of Mine.”


But this game, Guitar Hero 3 (which my brother, the ipod owner, bought with his Christmas Best Buy gift card), turned me into a big fan of “When You Were Young.” So I listened to the whole Sam’s Town album. It was great.

Sam’s Town was nice listening for my bus ride home. Due to my not yet having a license (arrgghh) and my parents’ inability to pick me up everywhere all the time, I was taking the bus home. The bus has always been something exciting for me. There are always all these weird people that I get to interact with. I enjoy people-watching. RTD buses are probably some of the best places to do that. I go into observative mode when I’m in the midst of all these strangers.

Since there’s not too much else to do, I sometimes sneak glances at a person and do my best at determining who they are. Yeah, it’s kind of judgmental, and “you can’t judge a book by its cover,” and all that. But I like reading people.

I saw a young kid step on the 16th Street Mall shuttle today full of facial piercings, clad in skinny jeans and big shoes, clutching a Virgin Megastores bag, and seeming very nervous and uncomfortable. You, I thought, are a sad insecure little kid with a lot of money. Your gender remains unknown. (Hope they’ll never read this blog! Sorry Virgin Megastores kid!)

In my people-watching adventures, I also discovered that there is an alarming amount of people playing Sudoku.

Sudoku people are everywhere. Have you noticed? They are taking over the world. Look on a bus, in a coffee shop, on park benches, in bookstores, and you will find someone playing Sudoku. And it’s not like Sudoku people are just old ladies with nothing better to do after they’ve fed all their cats. No, there are all sorts of Sudoku people! I just saw a young guy today in business attire poring over a Sudoku book in Peaberry Coffee. I can’t help but wonder…why do these people do it? What is the purpose of this game (besides, of course, the whole number thing)? And how could anyone really be that bored?

As I was walking through downtown pondering our culture’s Sudoku phenomenon, I arrived at my 2nd bus stop. Every time I am at this downtown bus stop, I swear to high goodness, a crazy guy always comes to sit right by me. Being a young girl, I guess I’m a crazy/drunk guy magnet. Either that, or they've developed some conspiratorial plan to harass redheads. I can’t say it’s not interesting, but it’s definitely creepy. Today was no exemption from downtown’s unique characters. About 2 minutes after I leaned myself against a fence at the bus stop, who comes to sit and the end of the bench and talk to me but a crazy guy!! He asked me the time. I told him. He asked me what route I was on. I told him. He asked me the time again. I told him. He started talking to me a lot about strange and random things, stopping at intervals to ask me questions. I wasn’t sure if I should ignore him or give him witty, smart-assed answers. I mostly ignored him. Someday, though, I’d just love to speak completely freely to one of those crazy guys. I probably would have, had it not been for all the other sane people waiting with me. They would have looked at me weird. However, if those sane people weren’t there, I’d be out of my mind with fright in being all alone in the city with a psycho.

But one of these days…I’ll have a truly crazy conversation with a truly crazy guy. If he doesn’t, you know, kill me in the process.

I’ll make sure to write about it.

Enjoyable Nothing

Happy New Year!

This is my first written sentence of 2008.

Brilliant! What promise those eight words hold for the rest of these 365 days!

I just backspaced about a page and a half of words. I’m really tired and I don’t know what I’m doing. I spent the night at a friend’s house last night, and on my way home I developed a really brilliant story to write about and I was so determined to publish it here…

Then I got home and started eating and said, “Oh, I’ll write later, I’ll definitely make a point to sit down and write this afternoon. I have an incredible story, bound to warm the hearts of all my readers.”

Instead of writing, I ate cheesecake and laid in bed for god-knows-how-long, reading and thinking, while promising myself that I would write later.

Then, as the sun was setting, I put on my headphones, took my dog for a walk, and we sprinted through cold neighborhood streets.

I got home and made dinner.

After eating at a table surrounded by loud and obnoxious young children, I poured myself a coffee, went downstairs to my room, opened up my laptop, and in a state of total exhaustion, attempted to write. I didn’t really think about anything I was saying— I just typed a bunch of words, looked over them, and thought, What the hell is this.

It wasn’t much. So I backspaced it.

I’m not going to tell you my “heartwarming story” anymore. It was about the value of friendship and how happy it made me.

It was doubtlessly going to be something mind-numbingly tacky. I think you’re much better off not reading it. It was one of those stories that seems really really good only when you’re half-awake.

Here’s the main idea, though:
I spent the night at my friend Beth’s house last night, which, don’t tell my friends, I didn’t really want to do. I’ve really bonded to my own bed over this break, so I wasn’t happy when my parents called me this morning at 3 AM to announce that they wouldn’t pick me up. Reluctantly, I agreed to take part in my friends’ slumber party, but I ended up actually really enjoying myself.

Despite my aching desire not to, I played Cranium until about 4 in the morning with 4 other teenage girls. I had fun playing Cranium’s charades, acting out paparazzi and The Fonz. (I didn’t know who “The Fonz” was at all, besides some old TV character. This made it very difficult for me to act out. I stood at the front of the room laughing and telling my friends that I had absolutely no idea what I was doing, so I was going to try some stand-up comedy instead. They in turn looked at me like I was a moron and inwardly cursed the fact that I was on their team. They never guessed “The Fonz.”)

After hours of playing Cranium and watching When A Stranger Calls, my friends and I finally attempted to go to bed. Iliana and I, however, stayed awake long after everyone else had fallen asleep, giggling nonstop about school and boys. (What more is there to life?)

At 7:30 AM, we finally stopped talking and slept till 11:30. The 5 of us then loitered around Beth’s kitchen for most of the morning (which, incidentally, was the afternoon. But we were eating breakfast until about 2 PM).

It was a simple but wonderful start to 2008. I’ve spent the past a week and half spending virtually no time with any of my friends. I’ve been taking too much advantage of all the nothing I can do, staying in bed reading till one, not answering my phone because I don’t want to interact with humanity, and rarely leaving the house or getting fully dressed—basically being an entirely worthless human being. It’s been enjoyable, but it’s grown old quite quickly.

It was nice to do some nothing with other people for a change.

Even though I get sick of them, my friends make life a lot more worthwhile than laying in bed all day.

Happy 2008 to you all.